I Paid $25K for Mentorship -
Then, Resisted My Own Ascension
Written by Odree Martin | June 11 2025
PHOTO: LLOYD NEWMAN
This is a confession.
And a love letter.
To the quantum women who took the leap—then resisted the threshold.
In June 2024, I did the wild thing. I invested over $25K into a one-year mastermind. No business. No strategy. No funnel. Just a sacred yes, leaping beyond the safety net.
I didn't have a business yet, but something in me already knew: I was going to be the sacred advisor for those who lead. It was time to skip the line and dive directly into the eye of the tornado—where transformation is born from the storm itself.
And that's where the real story begins—not the investment itself, but what happened after. Because the minute I jumped in, resistance to the very thing I desired started to rise.
I Jumped and Then Got Scared to Fly
As soon as I got access to the mastermind space, I dove headfirst like it was my full-time job. I consumed every call, every training, every piece of content with devotion. I participated in every discussion, gave wisdom freely. This felt productive. This felt like "being invested in the space."
But this was the illusion of productivity—mistaking consumption for creation, responsiveness for progress.
I told myself I was networking, learning, being accountable. In reality, I was hiding in the safe zone of contributing to the space and being helpful. Because when you're busy solving everyone else's problems, you never have to risk failing at your own endeavors.
This is the avoidance mechanism in its most sophisticated form—staying perpetually busy with everything except the one thing that matters: taking vulnerable action on your own business.
My engagement in the space was sky-high. But my self-commitment to my own growth? Shy. I did take some actions to nurture my business, but I was never fully prioritizing them. High engagement, low commitment. The perfect recipe for resentment.
The coaching paradox revealed itself: You can't be coached if you're not taking action worth coaching on. I had nothing crunchy to bring to the table—no launches to optimize, no sales conversations to improve, no bold actions to leverage. Actually, I didn't even have a question to ask in the mastermind… I knew I was spiraling in business, away from my business vision.
At some point, my nervous system started feeling overstimulated. Every new call felt overwhelming. Every message in the group thread triggered something deeper. But here's the truth I couldn't see then: What I was calling overwhelm was actually overflow—the universe pouring opportunity through me faster than my identity could expand to receive it.
Too many inputs. Too much activation. I told myself I didn't know how to "use" the space properly.
And then—bitterness crept in. Not toward the mentor. Not toward the space. But toward myself.
What was I thinking, jumping into a room with 7 and 8-figure entrepreneurs when I didn't even have a business? I clearly was not attuned to this space. I wasn't ready. I didn't have proper business foundations…
In June 2024, I did the wild thing. I invested over $25K into a one-year mastermind. No business. No strategy. No funnel. Just a sacred yes, leaping beyond the safety net.
I didn't have a business yet, but something in me already knew: I was going to be the sacred advisor for those who lead. It was time to skip the line and dive directly into the eye of the tornado—where transformation is born from the storm itself.
And that's where the real story begins—not the investment itself, but what happened after. Because the minute I jumped in, resistance to the very thing I desired started to rise.
I Jumped and Then Got Scared to Fly
As soon as I got access to the mastermind space, I dove headfirst like it was my full-time job. I consumed every call, every training, every piece of content with devotion. I participated in every discussion, gave wisdom freely. This felt productive. This felt like "being invested in the space."
But this was the illusion of productivity—mistaking consumption for creation, responsiveness for progress.
I told myself I was networking, learning, being accountable. In reality, I was hiding in the safe zone of contributing to the space and being helpful. Because when you're busy solving everyone else's problems, you never have to risk failing at your own endeavors.
This is the avoidance mechanism in its most sophisticated form—staying perpetually busy with everything except the one thing that matters: taking vulnerable action on your own business.
My engagement in the space was sky-high. But my self-commitment to my own growth? Shy. I did take some actions to nurture my business, but I was never fully prioritizing them. High engagement, low commitment. The perfect recipe for resentment.
The coaching paradox revealed itself: You can't be coached if you're not taking action worth coaching on. I had nothing crunchy to bring to the table—no launches to optimize, no sales conversations to improve, no bold actions to leverage. Actually, I didn't even have a question to ask in the mastermind… I knew I was spiraling in business, away from my business vision.
At some point, my nervous system started feeling overstimulated. Every new call felt overwhelming. Every message in the group thread triggered something deeper. But here's the truth I couldn't see then: What I was calling overwhelm was actually overflow—the universe pouring opportunity through me faster than my identity could expand to receive it.
Too many inputs. Too much activation. I told myself I didn't know how to "use" the space properly.
And then—bitterness crept in. Not toward the mentor. Not toward the space. But toward myself.
What was I thinking, jumping into a room with 7 and 8-figure entrepreneurs when I didn't even have a business? I clearly was not attuned to this space. I wasn't ready. I didn't have proper business foundations…
PHOTO: ANTON DARIUS
My Projections Started Shaping My Experience
By January 2025, I was finding fault with everything. I convinced myself the container was the problem—that it wasn’t high-touch enough, that the calls were time consuming, that there was too much noise and distractions in the space.
But in complete honesty, I knew: The container wasn't the problem. I was resisting the activation. The one I paid to receive. It was all about what was being mirrored back to me:
The power I hadn't embodied.
The space I hadn't claimed.
A frequency I didn't yet trust myself to hold.
I wasn't under-coached. I was under-receiving.
For months, I carried an emotional weight. Doubt. Resentment. Regret. Shame… The resistance was so strong that I avoided the mentorship for almost three months. Meanwhile, my mentor kept ascending and the gap between my business "level" and the mastermind space kept growing.
It Was Time to Go Inward and Let Myself Be Held
Eventually, I took full ownership for my soul growth and sought proximity support from a high-level spiritual mentor (whom I had met in the mastermind space). She guided me into the Akashic Records. Past lives. Soul gifts. Self-integration work that cracked me open to see the cosmic joke.
And slowly, I saw myself from the soul perspective. Not a failure. Not an impostor. But a woman in a divine bottleneck, resisting her own expansion.
The bottleneck was never external. It was the internal resistance to becoming who I already was at the soul level. Every obstacle I perceived was actually my own creation—a masterpiece of self-sabotage designed to keep me safe in the familiar.
The truth hit like lightning: The container didn't owe me a custom-fit ROI. I was the one who creates the ROI. Through devotion. Through creativity. Through willingness to receive.
Gifted entrepreneurs don't wait for magic to be handed to them—they are the magic. They alchemize whatever is offered into gold, because that's what creators do.
I had been waiting for the space to activate me, when the whole point was for me to show up activated and match the frequency.
The Moment I Cracked Open to That Truth—Everything Changed
By May 2025, when I had released lifetimes of fossilized emotions in the Akashic Records, I finally allowed myself to receive the activation, and the fog cleared. The ROI was never just in money or proximity with the mentor. It was in:
And as soon as I stopped fighting the high caliber frequency and started breathing into the activation… I became the evidence myself.
I became the woman who amplifies ROI—not the one who asks for it.
The Real Teaching Lives in the Resistance
Here's what I learned: Every high-level investment is an actual initiation. You're not just paying for content or coaching. You're paying to be held in a field of possibility that your current identity cannot yet fathom.
And your ego? It will fight that expansion with everything it has. It will tell you the investment was too much. The mentor doesn't care. The container isn't enough. You don't belong.
But those stories are just the old version of you trying to stay safe and never get lost.
The real question isn't whether the mentorship is "worth it." The real question is: Are you willing to become worth it?
If You're Reading This and Feeling the Mirror
You know the feeling. You have invested deeply in your transformations and you are standing at the edge of your own magnitude, yet you know you are tiptoeing around the real activation.
Here's your love note: You are not too early. You are not behind. You are not misunderstood.
You are in resistance to the version of you who actually receives the activation.
And that resistance? It's not a wall. It's a doorway.
The dragon at the gate isn't guarding you from your power—it's guarding your power from the version of you who isn't ready to wield it responsibly.
Every moment you stay in resistance is a moment you're choosing the familiar over the magical.
Welcome to the Fire
This is where ascension happens. In the space between who you've been and who you're becoming. In the tension of holding more than you've ever held before.
The mentorship spaces, the investments, the containers—they're not meant to fix you. They're meant to reveal you. To show you the leader, the creator, the activator you already are, waiting to be claimed.
But here's the real teaching: The investment is never the money. The investment is investing yourself into your investment. It's softening into the activation instead of bracing against it. It's regulating your nervous system to receive the overflow instead of calling it overwhelm. It's matching your self-commitment to your financial commitment. Because every high-level investment is actually asking you one question: Are you willing to become as invested in yourself as you are asking others to be invested in you?
So stop waiting for permission and start receiving what you've already invested in.
Your activation is not a luxury. It's your responsibility.
The world needs leaders who aren't afraid of their own power, who don't shrink when expansion calls, who say yes to their highest service, even when—especially when—it scares them.
This is your invitation to the ascension pathway.
The field is waiting.
The leaders who find me always land in pristine coordinates. They're the ones who feel the frequency shift before they can name it. Who invest in themselves when logic says wait. Who recognize that their resistance isn't a stop sign—it's an invitation to the next level of their becoming. If you're reading this and something is stirring... that's not coincidence. That's recognition.
But in complete honesty, I knew: The container wasn't the problem. I was resisting the activation. The one I paid to receive. It was all about what was being mirrored back to me:
The power I hadn't embodied.
The space I hadn't claimed.
A frequency I didn't yet trust myself to hold.
I wasn't under-coached. I was under-receiving.
For months, I carried an emotional weight. Doubt. Resentment. Regret. Shame… The resistance was so strong that I avoided the mentorship for almost three months. Meanwhile, my mentor kept ascending and the gap between my business "level" and the mastermind space kept growing.
It Was Time to Go Inward and Let Myself Be Held
Eventually, I took full ownership for my soul growth and sought proximity support from a high-level spiritual mentor (whom I had met in the mastermind space). She guided me into the Akashic Records. Past lives. Soul gifts. Self-integration work that cracked me open to see the cosmic joke.
And slowly, I saw myself from the soul perspective. Not a failure. Not an impostor. But a woman in a divine bottleneck, resisting her own expansion.
The bottleneck was never external. It was the internal resistance to becoming who I already was at the soul level. Every obstacle I perceived was actually my own creation—a masterpiece of self-sabotage designed to keep me safe in the familiar.
The truth hit like lightning: The container didn't owe me a custom-fit ROI. I was the one who creates the ROI. Through devotion. Through creativity. Through willingness to receive.
Gifted entrepreneurs don't wait for magic to be handed to them—they are the magic. They alchemize whatever is offered into gold, because that's what creators do.
I had been waiting for the space to activate me, when the whole point was for me to show up activated and match the frequency.
The Moment I Cracked Open to That Truth—Everything Changed
By May 2025, when I had released lifetimes of fossilized emotions in the Akashic Records, I finally allowed myself to receive the activation, and the fog cleared. The ROI was never just in money or proximity with the mentor. It was in:
- Status and connections—proximity to high-frequency leaders and soul-aligned collaborators.
- Accountability—showing up when no one's tracking you.
- Osmosis—being offered opportunities I couldn't have strategized my way into.
- Energetic calibration—witnessing what's possible and letting it recalibrate your field.
And as soon as I stopped fighting the high caliber frequency and started breathing into the activation… I became the evidence myself.
- I spoke on stage and sold my offers with confidence
- I completed my website and systems foundations with an OBM
- I unlocked several corporate training gigs
- I was offered a magazine feature with 2M+ reach (hello, Auralis for New Earth Leaders)
- Organic testimonials flooded my inbox
- Private clients began requesting to work with me
I became the woman who amplifies ROI—not the one who asks for it.
The Real Teaching Lives in the Resistance
Here's what I learned: Every high-level investment is an actual initiation. You're not just paying for content or coaching. You're paying to be held in a field of possibility that your current identity cannot yet fathom.
And your ego? It will fight that expansion with everything it has. It will tell you the investment was too much. The mentor doesn't care. The container isn't enough. You don't belong.
But those stories are just the old version of you trying to stay safe and never get lost.
The real question isn't whether the mentorship is "worth it." The real question is: Are you willing to become worth it?
If You're Reading This and Feeling the Mirror
You know the feeling. You have invested deeply in your transformations and you are standing at the edge of your own magnitude, yet you know you are tiptoeing around the real activation.
Here's your love note: You are not too early. You are not behind. You are not misunderstood.
You are in resistance to the version of you who actually receives the activation.
And that resistance? It's not a wall. It's a doorway.
The dragon at the gate isn't guarding you from your power—it's guarding your power from the version of you who isn't ready to wield it responsibly.
Every moment you stay in resistance is a moment you're choosing the familiar over the magical.
Welcome to the Fire
This is where ascension happens. In the space between who you've been and who you're becoming. In the tension of holding more than you've ever held before.
The mentorship spaces, the investments, the containers—they're not meant to fix you. They're meant to reveal you. To show you the leader, the creator, the activator you already are, waiting to be claimed.
But here's the real teaching: The investment is never the money. The investment is investing yourself into your investment. It's softening into the activation instead of bracing against it. It's regulating your nervous system to receive the overflow instead of calling it overwhelm. It's matching your self-commitment to your financial commitment. Because every high-level investment is actually asking you one question: Are you willing to become as invested in yourself as you are asking others to be invested in you?
So stop waiting for permission and start receiving what you've already invested in.
Your activation is not a luxury. It's your responsibility.
The world needs leaders who aren't afraid of their own power, who don't shrink when expansion calls, who say yes to their highest service, even when—especially when—it scares them.
This is your invitation to the ascension pathway.
The field is waiting.
The leaders who find me always land in pristine coordinates. They're the ones who feel the frequency shift before they can name it. Who invest in themselves when logic says wait. Who recognize that their resistance isn't a stop sign—it's an invitation to the next level of their becoming. If you're reading this and something is stirring... that's not coincidence. That's recognition.
OdreeMartin
Executive Contributor
|
Odree is a multidimensional mentor, new world philanthropist, and voice of quantum truth for visionary leaders recoding reality.
Known as The Miracle Oracle, she serves the minority of the 1%—gifted women, spiritual entrepreneurs, and founders of new worlds—ready to embrace their full power and birth their highest service. Her transmissions are raw, poetic, and wildly catalytic—activating soul technologies and unlocking acceleration portals of elevation. A founder of multiple New Earth spaces, Odree speaks through the collective web, delivering frequency that rearchitects identity, leadership, and legacy. |
