I Don't Have To Understand You To Love You
Written by Gina Starbuck
May 25th, 2026
5 min read
May 25th, 2026
5 min read
Gina Starbuck is a retreat leader, embodiment expert, published author, and multidimensional medicine woman working at the intersection of art, frequency, and leadership. She is known for creating immersive, high-level experiences that recalibrate the nervous system, restore creative power, and awaken embodied authority.
A master of movement, sound, and energy alchemy, Gina works with founders, creatives, and visionaries who are already successful and ready to expand their capacity for visibility, wealth, and influence without fragmentation or burnout.
With roots as a world-renowned performer and decades of healing mastery, Gina weaves art, intuition, and spirit into every environment she curates. Her work is not self-help. It is precision medicine for the soul. A full-body return to truth, power, and leadership.
"Eros doesn't thrive in isolation. It thrives in imperfect connection." -Gina Starbuck
A master of movement, sound, and energy alchemy, Gina works with founders, creatives, and visionaries who are already successful and ready to expand their capacity for visibility, wealth, and influence without fragmentation or burnout.
With roots as a world-renowned performer and decades of healing mastery, Gina weaves art, intuition, and spirit into every environment she curates. Her work is not self-help. It is precision medicine for the soul. A full-body return to truth, power, and leadership.
"Eros doesn't thrive in isolation. It thrives in imperfect connection." -Gina Starbuck
Recently, my daughter was having a big process about feeling misunderstood by me.
She wasn’t wrong. At that moment, I didn’t understand her. We weren’t seeing eye to eye, and she was so distraught at the fact that I couldn’t just get inside of her experience and truly know what it was like to be her. I could feel the agony in it, and yet, I felt so grounded when I said to her, “I don’t have to fully understand you to love you.”
And that is so true. I mean, even if I tried to understand her, or anybody else, perfectly, I couldn’t. Because I am human, and so is she, and we will always and forever have our own unique experience. Even when and if we are living the exact same situation or timeline.
Even still, I can stay and be with her. I can be present. I can love her through understanding and through confusion. This is part of the beauty of human connection. It’s also part of the beauty of being a girl mom. Because while everybody who comes into our lives has the potential to meet us in the most powerful of ways… There’s something really unique and sacred about the connection between women, across time and space.
And while it’s true that everything we need is inside of us, and that the Divine can fill us up in ways that no human ever could… I’m more interested in how we can meet the Divine through our connections with each other than living in isolation and just meeting God through myself.
As humans, we long for connection.
So why do so many powerful women still carry that feeling of not quite belonging, and maybe not wanting to? Is it self-preservation? And at what cost?
I’ve felt different my whole life. This comes with both its blessings and its challenges. And yet, the deepest relationships I’ve had have come from some degree of differentiation. From not always being or seeing things the same way, and loving each other anyway. I can celebrate the choices you make that bring you joy, even when and if I wouldn’t make that same choice myself.
She wasn’t wrong. At that moment, I didn’t understand her. We weren’t seeing eye to eye, and she was so distraught at the fact that I couldn’t just get inside of her experience and truly know what it was like to be her. I could feel the agony in it, and yet, I felt so grounded when I said to her, “I don’t have to fully understand you to love you.”
And that is so true. I mean, even if I tried to understand her, or anybody else, perfectly, I couldn’t. Because I am human, and so is she, and we will always and forever have our own unique experience. Even when and if we are living the exact same situation or timeline.
Even still, I can stay and be with her. I can be present. I can love her through understanding and through confusion. This is part of the beauty of human connection. It’s also part of the beauty of being a girl mom. Because while everybody who comes into our lives has the potential to meet us in the most powerful of ways… There’s something really unique and sacred about the connection between women, across time and space.
And while it’s true that everything we need is inside of us, and that the Divine can fill us up in ways that no human ever could… I’m more interested in how we can meet the Divine through our connections with each other than living in isolation and just meeting God through myself.
As humans, we long for connection.
So why do so many powerful women still carry that feeling of not quite belonging, and maybe not wanting to? Is it self-preservation? And at what cost?
I’ve felt different my whole life. This comes with both its blessings and its challenges. And yet, the deepest relationships I’ve had have come from some degree of differentiation. From not always being or seeing things the same way, and loving each other anyway. I can celebrate the choices you make that bring you joy, even when and if I wouldn’t make that same choice myself.
The truth is, no matter how much someone knows us, we don’t get to control how we are seen by them. Perception is perception. And knowing that can be uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. Because it means I can be in my truth, in my heart, and in total integrity, and even still be misunderstood by someone I love.
And then what? Do we close ourselves off or try to overexplain? Or do we just lean in, even amidst the misunderstanding, and trust that a truly healthy relationship does need understanding one hundred percent of the time?
I think a lot of high-level women like us have done the work to stop people pleasing. To stop over-giving & to truly inhabit ourselves fully. But somewhere on that path, I see that a lot of high-level women also became extra guarded. A little less willing to risk being felt or seen by other women in real time.
And yet what I feel right now, more than anything, is that high-level women are longing for connection. More so than accolades, or fame, or more money… Any of it. We want to be seen. We want a real connection. We want to feel the potency of being heart to heart and womb to womb with other women and to just fucking let go.
Regardless of sexual orientation, there’s an element of the erotic that only lives between women. It’s powerful and potent, and it’s got inside of it the energy that can truly liberate. That energy is just begging to be fully unleashed right now. Of course, it requires a degree of safety. It also requires vulnerability. Something we are seemingly both craving and absolutely terrified of.
I’m a devotee of the erotic current, and I can tell you…eros doesn’t thrive in isolation. It’s not something we just cultivate alone in a journal or in meditation or even in our connection with God, although all of that matters. It comes alive in the presence of other people, and especially in sacred space between women. In the eye contact, the laughter. In the moments where we just let ourselves and each other BE. It lives in risk. The risk of being seen… and not perfectly understood. The risk of staying open when every part of you wants to retreat back into your independence and say, “I’ve got this on my own.” Because you probably do. But that doesn’t mean you’re meant to.
And it’s so much more fun when we walk together. Of course, I’m speaking to healthy, reciprocal relationships here. Not spaces where your safety or truth is compromised. There’s a difference, and your body knows it.
In healthy relationships, belonging doesn’t come from being perfectly understood. It comes from the willingness to stay.
So, stay present, stay in your body… Even when it’s messy, unclear, or there’s a misunderstanding. Because something deeper gets built there. Something more honest, that doesn’t rely on perfection to exist. I think at the root of all of our craving for connection is also a craving for imperfection.
We can love without having it all figured out. And we can lean into belonging without having to hold onto the reins so tightly.
Is there space in your world for more imperfect connections?
Lean in. There’s beauty waiting for you, and I am so excited to see what richness this lean in brings you.
And then what? Do we close ourselves off or try to overexplain? Or do we just lean in, even amidst the misunderstanding, and trust that a truly healthy relationship does need understanding one hundred percent of the time?
I think a lot of high-level women like us have done the work to stop people pleasing. To stop over-giving & to truly inhabit ourselves fully. But somewhere on that path, I see that a lot of high-level women also became extra guarded. A little less willing to risk being felt or seen by other women in real time.
And yet what I feel right now, more than anything, is that high-level women are longing for connection. More so than accolades, or fame, or more money… Any of it. We want to be seen. We want a real connection. We want to feel the potency of being heart to heart and womb to womb with other women and to just fucking let go.
Regardless of sexual orientation, there’s an element of the erotic that only lives between women. It’s powerful and potent, and it’s got inside of it the energy that can truly liberate. That energy is just begging to be fully unleashed right now. Of course, it requires a degree of safety. It also requires vulnerability. Something we are seemingly both craving and absolutely terrified of.
I’m a devotee of the erotic current, and I can tell you…eros doesn’t thrive in isolation. It’s not something we just cultivate alone in a journal or in meditation or even in our connection with God, although all of that matters. It comes alive in the presence of other people, and especially in sacred space between women. In the eye contact, the laughter. In the moments where we just let ourselves and each other BE. It lives in risk. The risk of being seen… and not perfectly understood. The risk of staying open when every part of you wants to retreat back into your independence and say, “I’ve got this on my own.” Because you probably do. But that doesn’t mean you’re meant to.
And it’s so much more fun when we walk together. Of course, I’m speaking to healthy, reciprocal relationships here. Not spaces where your safety or truth is compromised. There’s a difference, and your body knows it.
In healthy relationships, belonging doesn’t come from being perfectly understood. It comes from the willingness to stay.
So, stay present, stay in your body… Even when it’s messy, unclear, or there’s a misunderstanding. Because something deeper gets built there. Something more honest, that doesn’t rely on perfection to exist. I think at the root of all of our craving for connection is also a craving for imperfection.
We can love without having it all figured out. And we can lean into belonging without having to hold onto the reins so tightly.
Is there space in your world for more imperfect connections?
Lean in. There’s beauty waiting for you, and I am so excited to see what richness this lean in brings you.
