The Activator: Between Belonging and Becoming
Written by Gina Starbuck
April 22nd, 2026
5 min read
April 22nd, 2026
5 min read
Gina Starbuck is a retreat leader, embodiment expert, published author, and multidimensional medicine woman working at the intersection of art, frequency, and leadership. She is known for creating immersive, high-level experiences that recalibrate the nervous system, restore creative power, and awaken embodied authority.
A master of movement, sound, and energy alchemy, Gina works with founders, creatives, and visionaries who are already successful and ready to expand their capacity for visibility, wealth, and influence without fragmentation or burnout.
With roots as a world-renowned performer and decades of healing mastery, Gina weaves art, intuition, and spirit into every environment she curates. Her work is not self-help. It is precision medicine for the soul. A full-body return to truth, power, and leadership.
"You don’t outgrow the desire to belong, you just stop betraying yourself to earn it." -Gina Starbuck
A master of movement, sound, and energy alchemy, Gina works with founders, creatives, and visionaries who are already successful and ready to expand their capacity for visibility, wealth, and influence without fragmentation or burnout.
With roots as a world-renowned performer and decades of healing mastery, Gina weaves art, intuition, and spirit into every environment she curates. Her work is not self-help. It is precision medicine for the soul. A full-body return to truth, power, and leadership.
"You don’t outgrow the desire to belong, you just stop betraying yourself to earn it." -Gina Starbuck
I was literally shaking as I read her post.
Was this about me?
A woman I had met with—mainly to simply connect, but also possibly work together—wrote an entire post about how she had almost hired a coach, but when she met with her, the other woman made it all about herself and kept bringing it back to her own knowledge. How she felt unmet. How she didn’t “resonate.” That’s exactly why she does the work she does in the world.
I live by the principle of not making assumptions, and the chances of this actually being about me were slim. But still… I replayed the conversation.
I had asked her about herself, her work, and her life. I gave insight and, yes, I connected it back to my own lived experience. When we actually got into the conversation, it became clear pretty quickly that we weren’t a match to work together at the time, and that’s okay. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been sussing me out. And suddenly, I was sussing myself out too.
And really, it’s not even about whether her post was about me. We don’t win them all, and I know that.
It’s about how activated I was when it could have been. What was happening in my body? Why was I having a literal nervous system response to a perceived threat because of a post?
Turns out to my system, it was a threat. Not to my safety, but to my belonging.
Was this about me?
A woman I had met with—mainly to simply connect, but also possibly work together—wrote an entire post about how she had almost hired a coach, but when she met with her, the other woman made it all about herself and kept bringing it back to her own knowledge. How she felt unmet. How she didn’t “resonate.” That’s exactly why she does the work she does in the world.
I live by the principle of not making assumptions, and the chances of this actually being about me were slim. But still… I replayed the conversation.
I had asked her about herself, her work, and her life. I gave insight and, yes, I connected it back to my own lived experience. When we actually got into the conversation, it became clear pretty quickly that we weren’t a match to work together at the time, and that’s okay. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been sussing me out. And suddenly, I was sussing myself out too.
And really, it’s not even about whether her post was about me. We don’t win them all, and I know that.
It’s about how activated I was when it could have been. What was happening in my body? Why was I having a literal nervous system response to a perceived threat because of a post?
Turns out to my system, it was a threat. Not to my safety, but to my belonging.
Michael Higgins Photography | Hollywood Vibe
The truth is, there is a deep ancestral wound amongst women. We want to expand, but we also want to belong. We know, somewhere in us, that we are meant to activate each other, to sharpen, to mirror, to wake one another up. And yet, so many of us still don’t know how to be with that activation when it happens. We interpret it as rejection, as an attack, as something wrong with the person who activates us, and/or something wrong with ourselves.
And if that post was about me, that’s okay. I’m in a season of life where I am actively okay with being misunderstood. Not in a hardened, dismissive way, but in a grounded, embodied way. I know who I am. I know the value I add. I know that I have a kind and generous heart. And I know that the women who are meant to be on the receiving end of my work and medicine are often activated by me just being. Most people are, in fact. It’s part of why I’m here… To shock people awake and into the heart of the matter. Living life as art, devotion, and as an offering to the Divine.
I get that it doesn’t always feel warm and fuzzy to be activated. But that’s part of the gift. To meet the edge and to stretch…
I don’t know if we ever fully get over the desire to be understood. But I do know that learning to be okay with being misunderstood, without collapsing, over-explaining, or becoming the false projections that people place onto us, is a high-level leadership skill. Especially for women.
Because the alternative is that we shape-shift… And not in the way that’s actually empowering. We dilute & abandon ourselves in an attempt to stay safe in the familiar. And I’m no longer available for that.
What I am available for is noticing. Noticing when my body tightens, when my mind starts looping, when I want to prove something, clarify, defend, or do emotional gymnastics just to feel like I am being understood. And instead of acting from that place, I get curious. What’s actually mine here? Where is my edge? What am I being invited to bring to light here? And just as importantly, what is not mine?
Part of maturing as a woman in leadership is learning how to stay in your humanity without dehumanizing another woman in the process.
There’s discernment, and there’s projection. And these two are not the same.
It’s easy to dodge your own growth by projecting onto another woman. But oh my God, it’s liberating to NOT do that.
So how do we do this, actually? Because if you know what I am talking about, my guess is that you’re actually ready to get over your own BS and run your energy in a way that is centered, compassionate, and not leaking in either the direction of fear of being misunderstood, or in the direction of making another woman the “bad guy”.
For me, this process has come through meeting my own inner dragon. Facing my own shadow, integrating it, and being willing to meet my power. Because I find that most often when another woman triggers us, we aren’t actually afraid of her, we are afraid of our own power and how she reflects it to us…
When I’m really embodied in my own full spectrum, I have more space for all of the ways that I am moved by other people. And, my ability to be the kind of woman who leads a movement is expanded exponentially.
As we step into bigger rooms, bigger conversations, deeper work, we will be misunderstood at times. We will be felt in ways we didn’t intend. We will activate things in others simply by being who we are.
Can you hold yourself in that? Can you stay rooted in your divine essence and be okay with who you are, without needing so much outside affirmation?
I’d love to be liked by everyone, but if I’m not… How do I keep thriving?
I think the answer is found in our willingness to meet ourselves, and to plug into God like we are living expressions of the unlimited Divine. Because we are…
Happy living, y’all. From one activator to another, I see you.
Big love,
Gina
And if that post was about me, that’s okay. I’m in a season of life where I am actively okay with being misunderstood. Not in a hardened, dismissive way, but in a grounded, embodied way. I know who I am. I know the value I add. I know that I have a kind and generous heart. And I know that the women who are meant to be on the receiving end of my work and medicine are often activated by me just being. Most people are, in fact. It’s part of why I’m here… To shock people awake and into the heart of the matter. Living life as art, devotion, and as an offering to the Divine.
I get that it doesn’t always feel warm and fuzzy to be activated. But that’s part of the gift. To meet the edge and to stretch…
I don’t know if we ever fully get over the desire to be understood. But I do know that learning to be okay with being misunderstood, without collapsing, over-explaining, or becoming the false projections that people place onto us, is a high-level leadership skill. Especially for women.
Because the alternative is that we shape-shift… And not in the way that’s actually empowering. We dilute & abandon ourselves in an attempt to stay safe in the familiar. And I’m no longer available for that.
What I am available for is noticing. Noticing when my body tightens, when my mind starts looping, when I want to prove something, clarify, defend, or do emotional gymnastics just to feel like I am being understood. And instead of acting from that place, I get curious. What’s actually mine here? Where is my edge? What am I being invited to bring to light here? And just as importantly, what is not mine?
Part of maturing as a woman in leadership is learning how to stay in your humanity without dehumanizing another woman in the process.
There’s discernment, and there’s projection. And these two are not the same.
It’s easy to dodge your own growth by projecting onto another woman. But oh my God, it’s liberating to NOT do that.
So how do we do this, actually? Because if you know what I am talking about, my guess is that you’re actually ready to get over your own BS and run your energy in a way that is centered, compassionate, and not leaking in either the direction of fear of being misunderstood, or in the direction of making another woman the “bad guy”.
For me, this process has come through meeting my own inner dragon. Facing my own shadow, integrating it, and being willing to meet my power. Because I find that most often when another woman triggers us, we aren’t actually afraid of her, we are afraid of our own power and how she reflects it to us…
When I’m really embodied in my own full spectrum, I have more space for all of the ways that I am moved by other people. And, my ability to be the kind of woman who leads a movement is expanded exponentially.
As we step into bigger rooms, bigger conversations, deeper work, we will be misunderstood at times. We will be felt in ways we didn’t intend. We will activate things in others simply by being who we are.
Can you hold yourself in that? Can you stay rooted in your divine essence and be okay with who you are, without needing so much outside affirmation?
I’d love to be liked by everyone, but if I’m not… How do I keep thriving?
I think the answer is found in our willingness to meet ourselves, and to plug into God like we are living expressions of the unlimited Divine. Because we are…
Happy living, y’all. From one activator to another, I see you.
Big love,
Gina
